Postpartum Depression in High-Achieving Women
Postpartum and Perfectionism: Why Some High-Achieving Women Struggle With Postpartum Depression
As someone who has to actively work against my own all-or-nothing thinking patterns, I deeply empathize with how uniquely challenging the postpartum period can be for women who are used to executing things with expertise and succeeding at whatever cost when they decide to pursue something.
Why High-Achieving Women Are Vulnerable to Postpartum Depression
I often see that high-achieving, extremely capable, and successful women can have a particularly difficult time postpartum. For some, this struggle can show up as postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety. Maybe you’re used to being able to work your way through situations, or at least experiencing a more linear relationship between effort and outcome. You’ve consistently gone above and beyond in your education, career, relationships, and self-improvement — but that doesn’t always translate to ease in the postpartum period. This isn’t because you’ve done anything wrong or because you’re not strong enough (please hear me when I say it is definitely not that).
When Effort Doesn’t Equal Outcome in the Postpartum Period
The reality is that in postpartum, you can do everything “right” and still be sleep-deprived, have a colicky baby, experience a traumatic birth, or struggle with your mental health. For some women, this can contribute to symptoms of postpartum depression, including feelings of hopelessness, overwhelm, anxiety, or disconnection. For someone who is used to finding solutions and maximizing efficiency, it can feel incredibly helpless to realize that no amount of effort is going to make your baby sleep longer stretches right away, stop crying for no apparent reason after they’ve been fed, changed, and held, or make your hormones immediately level out.
Information Overload, Comparison, and Postpartum Anxiety
On top of that, you’re likely being bombarded with information — often mixed and conflicting messages about how to approach this time or care for your baby — and tempted to be as prepared and researched as possible. If you’re anything like me and love to research, you might find yourself googling “the best way to soothe a fussy baby” or “how to get my baby to sleep more than 20 minutes at a time.” While this is completely understandable (we all need guidance at times), it can also increase anxiety and self-doubt and make postpartum depression feel even heavier. It’s easy to start wondering why it seems like everyone else’s baby sleeps in the bassinet and doesn’t need to be held constantly.
I don’t share this to sound like a downer about postpartum, but to let you know that you are not alone. It is common and understandable to feel overwhelmed, discouraged, or emotionally depleted during this time — especially when your usual tools and methods aren’t working the way they used to.
Supporting Your Mental Health During Postpartum Depression
While there are many things outside of your control during postpartum, there are some ways you can take care of yourself and support your mental health during this time:
Practice self-compassion. Everyone’s brain and body responds differently to sleep deprivation and massive hormonal shifts. These changes alone can contribute to postpartum depression and anxiety. It’s important to be gentle with yourself and meet yourself where you are. If “be kind to yourself” feels vague or hard to access, self-compassion meditations by Kristin Neff are some of my favorites.
Notice comparison traps. Every baby is different. Every labor, birth, and recovery is different. Comparing yourself to others — especially on social media — can worsen postpartum depression symptoms. Remind yourself that there is no “right” way this is supposed to look and surround yourself with people who lift you up rather than fuel comparison.
Foster a sense of self-efficacy where you can. You may be missing the sense of accomplishment you get from your career or other areas of life. Finding small, healthy outlets that bring a sense of completion can help protect against postpartum depression — knitting, a short walk (when physically cleared), connecting with a friend, or even choosing one daily task that feels good for you, like showering.
Communicate openly with loved ones. Even if it’s just one person, sharing honestly about how you’re feeling matters. Isolation can worsen postpartum depression. Support from a professional, such as a perinatal mental health therapist, can also be incredibly helpful.
Practice radical acceptance. You are not always in control of how your tiny human feels or what they do (not sleeping, crying, etc.). You don’t have to like it, but working toward acceptance — rather than self-blame — can reduce emotional suffering and shame that often accompany postpartum depression.
Why Therapy for Postpartum Depression Matters
While some postpartum advice may sound obvious — rest as much as you can, lean on your village, take care of yourself — it’s often much easier said than done. And while therapy and medication are evidence-based treatments for postpartum depression, they can’t fully work if basic needs like sleep, nourishment, and connection aren’t being met. Therapy can be a wonderful space to problem-solve, explore barriers, and practice asking for help, but it can’t replace sleep, food, or practical support.
Postpartum Depression Support in Philadelphia
Perinatal (pregnancy and postpartum) mood challenges, including postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety, are incredibly common, yet still not talked about enough. If you’re experiencing symptoms of postpartum depression — such as persistent sadness, anxiety, irritability, guilt, or feeling unlike yourself — know that you’re not alone. Therapy for postpartum depression can provide education, tools, and support to help you feel like yourself again. As a Perinatal Mental Health Certified Therapist, I specialize in supporting women struggling with pregnancy and postpartum depression and anxiety. Reach out today to schedule your free consultation call.